when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize