do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
