If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
