yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
