i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
