i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you traded sex for a burrito?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
