Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize