Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
