I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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