We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize