my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
