who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
