Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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