My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
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Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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