When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
