i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
