John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
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i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
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How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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