we have pet lesbian snakes
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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