Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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