Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
