Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
