So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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