I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
