First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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