Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
