you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize