people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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