i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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