mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
