i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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