i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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