I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
