I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
