I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Congratulations! We have a period
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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