he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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