What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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