I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
