I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
