meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize