There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
