I think im going to throw up on grandma
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
