He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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