The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
