Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize