Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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