I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
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Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
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Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize