Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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