The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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