Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize