No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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