she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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