We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Green mimosas i think yes
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
