okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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