He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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