omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize