After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
